Flight of Fancy

I'm not one for body piercing, especially in .... umm.... sensitive areas. The idea of metal poking through my private bits, makes me cringe. I mean, what the hell do you do when you want to be intimate? And then there are those special moments.... for example, security screenings....

Texas woman Mandy Hamlin had already passed through a large metal detector, but on a spot check, a female officer's hand-held scanner beeped as it passed over her chest.

Ms. Hamlin said she explained to the woman she had nipple piercings and offered to show them to her in private. However, male officers insisted she remove the jewelry before boarding her flight. WHY? Did they think if she turned too quickly, her swinging breasts might damage someone?

She was apparently taken behind a curtain and after a bit of a tussle, managed to remove one but had trouble with the second nipple ring.
She claimed she couldn't remove it without pliers, so what happened? The kind officer found her a pair. Apparently after nipple rings are inserted, the skin can heal around the piercing, and the rings can be extremely difficult and painful to remove.

What the hell is the world coming to. Will we have to remove our wedding rings next? What IS the difference - a ring is a ring. Surely a quick investigation by a trusted individual would have sufficed!!! LOOK, I'm a tolerant and trustworthy fellow, don't often break the law, mostly tell the truth. May I offer my services?